Dating & Relationship Coaching
As an only child of a single parent I was alone a lot.
I felt abandoned and a burden and as I grew up this turned
into believing I wasn’t good enough, feeling unworthy and
unlovable. For most of my 20’s and 30’s I was in and out of
relationships. My self-esteem and confidence was low and it
affected my relationships. I broke hearts, had my heart broken,
experienced ghosting, love bombing, emotional unavailability
& the highs and lows of online dating.
I struggled with anxiety and often experienced panic attacks on a daily basis. So, I distracted myself by kicking goals in my career, my fitness and created a great social life. In private though, I read every book, attended every course and was determined to find out why I did what I did when it came to love.
I started to realise the impact that my anxiety was having on dating and my relationships.
I would hyper focus on whether I said the wrong thing on dates, anxiously checking my phone and if I was in a relationship, I was constantly on the look-out for reasons that ‘it wasn’t right’.
This sabotaged my relationships and prevented me from finding my perfect partner.
I thought that to have a great relationship I needed to work hard to please him, keep up my appearance, be cool, smart & funny.
I now know I was wrong.
I became very good at intellectualising everything including my feelings. I could tell you exactly what your problem was, where it came from and how to fix it.
But I couldn’t do that for myself...
I felt desperate and helpless. Like my time was running out.
I read even more books and yet I was still sabotaging myself…
You might be thinking ‘but why would you do that?’
Because I was terrified of falling in love. I knew it required me to be vulnerable and I wasn’t sure I could do that.
I was constantly looking outside of myself for answers. I was always on the search for ‘the right guy’ to turn up that would make me feel good and fix everything. (let’s blame all those fairytales we watched as children! Insert Cinderella!)
I wanted to feel loved, safe and secure in a relationship. I wanted that deep, fulfilling love that I had always read about.
To feel cherished, adored and to laugh, have fun AND have passion! I wanted it all!
Yet it felt so elusive to me. I felt like something was wrong with me. Like I was messed up and broken.
I would settle for average relationships that always had ‘something missing’. Or the wild ‘rollercoaster’ relationships with bad boys that felt fantastic one minute and terrible the next.
I had suffered for years with the heartbreak of relationships ending, of negative thought patterns sabotaging relationships and the heartbreak of not loving myself.
I stopped looking outward for solutions and started looking within. I put the books down.
Anything I was yearning for in a relationship with a man I started to give to myself.
Rather than avoiding my pain, anxiety and worries I began to face them instead. I allowed myself to be vulnerable. I gave myself permission to feel everything and the emotions were sensitive, raw and although at times it was challenging, allowing the sensitivity was the greatest relief.
Coming to this place has been the most impactful journey I have ever experienced. I feel soft and feminine whilst resilient and strong at the same time. I know that I can trust myself completely and that no matter what happens I will be ok.
I can be in the most unbeleivable relationship with a man because I am now in the most unbelievable relationship with myself.
I want to share how I’ve done this with you so that you can experience the love you deserve without having to go through the years of confusion that I did!
Love Always,
April x
